friday may 4 2001    |    12:31 a.m.

the last radio show.

and before that, the reading.

and after that (number one), the run-in.

so many goodbyes.

sure, you move on. what can you do. this is what you do. but it's hard to radically alter your life.

i will be happy never to see many people again. i will be happy to be done with all the bullshit. but. this is some pretty final closure. so it's not easy.

i will be happy to come back to a home and not an empty dorm room. so why do i miss it already?

my best friend will be an ocean away for two years. i will not have conversations about the future or the prospects or the state of things or books on a daily basis. i will never complain about bricks again. never write a paper in ascension again. never blast music out onto the quad. never listen to wkco (unless we come through with the internet broadcasting). never see seminarboy in seminar again. never go to the cove with friends and dance between the tables and listen to "glory days" on the jukebox and stumble out twenty minutes after closing time. never climb the stairs of leonard or barbecue outside the bexleys or drink at the woodlands or watch movies at higley or sit on the glacial rock in the garden in front of the hill theater. and on and on. i don't want it all to just fade. but it will.

and ten years from now i'll be some jackass alum giggling about the caples elevator during reunion weekend, hardly believing this ever even happened.

yep.

so. goodbye diaryland. you make me sad.