thursday june 27 2002    |    12:57 a.m.

hi. it's late and i work tomorrow. but i'm closing, so i'm allowed.

lately i have been monster-dot-comming, doodling stupid diagrams of my goals on breaks at work, ordering books during register lulls (berlitz mandarin chinese course, a book on relocating to london, a book on canadian history and a book on transnational chinese cinemas, among other wholly useless but wonderful titles), and trying to make peace with business and finance. with respect to the latter, i would like to thank lou dobbs of moneyline, the forbes magazine issue on financial planning, the bureau of labor statistics homepage (mainly for the inflation calculator -- hours of mindless fun and random figures), the whole poetry-in-numbers thing, and j, who got me in this mess to begin with. for a casual relationship, there's a lot of crazy shuffling around of lifethings going on.

horoscopes and song lyrics and small signs like iberia planes in the sky at odd moments and strange uncanny timing and coincidental muzak esp have me on a heightened state of alert. i'm sniffing the air out and it's not even fall, summer is so dry of meaning, isn't it?

i dunno.

also, at risk of losing any semblance of indie cred i might've ever managed to store up, i have a confession to make: i love the dave matthews band.

so THERE.

(this all part of a concerted effort to liberate myself through betraying a severe lack of the elusive and coveted cool. oh well. i think vin diesel is really fuckin' hot, too. while i'm at it.)