thursday may 10 2001 | 8:11 p.m.
i'm supposed to be writing 15-page paper number two right now, but i'm just not.
fritz and i had a little smoke this afternoon, and then i took one of the best showers of my life (it doesn't take much), and then we had dinner and sat outside on peirce lawn with her and him. and the hours just idled on by, pleasantly, in time with the weather.
and now i'm back in ascension, computer-labing away (that is, wasting time mostly), becky sitting next to me and chris b_ across and miranda on the other side. it's so homey it's ridiculous. i have my headphones on and some water and yeah, it's hard to take final papers seriously in this kind of atmosphere. kamp kenyon indeed.
so this paper and the art history final tomorrow, and i'm officially done with everything school-related at 9:30 p.m., ever. wow. soberign thought. i'll have to kill it soon with a forty, à la homer simpson.
my crush on sean na na has become a full-fledged love affair. i had this uncontrollable urge last night to just blast him and bask, probably partially due to the fact that julie's borrowing my stereo at the moment. no, really. he's crept up on me and i don't know what to do with myself. i want new albums: one every week: a surge of low-fi in my life. bright eyes, keep sitting in that little corner and weep. [sean na na could kick his ass, literally and figuratively and lyrically, any day. bring on the hate mail.]
not much new going on. i sold some books and made some cash, but not much. it will buy me a few packs of cigarettes. and things are winding down.
ouch. it's getting dark outside, and me with this paper to write. how did that happen?
somebody's copy of the things they carried and collection of raymond carver short stories and notebook and papers have been lying forgotten under my comp.lab desk all afternoon, and they're here still. i want to pick them up and take them home. or offer to trade papers with whomever they belong to. they just look so . . . underused, sitting there all by themselves.
sigh. onward.
come away with me, i already
quit that job
we'll finish off the bottle and the agaves too
take a look around
everybody is as sad as you
all we need are Dos Gusanos this afternoon
