sunday august 17 2003    |    2:49 p.m.

another weekend, another notch on some mangled post somewhere. i don't know how people can work in offices for years on end, for entire lifetimes. nothing to show for it, nothing gained, nothing given, bureaucracy inched along ever so minimally.

this year is going to suck.

last night i was too restless to sleep, and so i called fritz. it must have been one or two in the morning, ten or eleven her time. thankfully she was home and we got to step on friendly territory for a second.

i really miss having friends. people whose company i actually enjoy and seek out. the only people i have and care to have around right now are my boyfriend and my parents. i miss wanting to make plans and looking forward to talking to someone or hanging out with them or having a drink or just being in the same room. was college a fluke? what's going on? what's with the office-no life-office-no life cycle?

i got glass, irony and god by anne carson senior year for saskia's class, but we never got to it, and i certainly never got to it on my own. i dug it out of my bookshelves at the parents' last weekend and have been sucked in. i'm taking it as slowly as i can, stretching it out, rereading, and i don't want it to end. writing is so much more serious now that i'm not studying it.

i want to go back to school.

oh yes. we are moving in three weeks. thank god.

that's it.