sunday february 10 2002 | 6:04 p.m.
fine. fine. i want to write about it.
i invited chicagoboy to drinks on friday night and he said yes. well actually, i invited him to drinks with cafégirl and me so it wouldn't sound too datelike.
we went to the sandbar in miami beach, and pretty much the whole time was chicagoboy and me sitting on a couch next to each other talking and staring into each other's faces. i have no idea what cafégirl was doing for those hours; i think playing pool with some sketchy men. anyway, you can imagine, i was melting and melting and melting.
and then cafégirl wanted to eat, so we walked to denny's, and that's when the exhaustion hit me (i hadn't really slept the night before and then gone to work and then drinks till the wee hours...) and i kind of turned off, and cafégirl and chicagoboy told about all the crazy odd jobs they'd had in their respective lives. finally at four in the morning sleep won over gazing at c.boy, and we dropped him off before dropping me off and that whole scene was way too casual for my taste. i mean we'd been totally into each other all night and suddenly it was like the spell was broken.
and we both coincided at work today, and it was just like any other day, and that was kind of frustrating too. (although he did pull a book off the shelves and tell me to read it. but that doesn't mean much. i'm reaching, i know.) so i just don't know. i have no idea what, or if anything at all, is going on. and i hate waiting. and i guess the proverbial next move is his.
so there's that. and then two of my closest friends are having serious couple problems, and it's really, really sad.
so i don't know about anything. feels like i'm living through an up-in-the-air phase, like everything's suspended and charged with potential -- whether that's good or bad potential remains to be seen. but it's building up thicker than the air in miami. which was very thick with rain today, by the way, if you must know.
now i'm going to call denise and plan some kind of mischief for tonight.
